my stomach ><

arrrgh... took a little too much abuse at my fellowship tonight =p ok i understand that it's fun to tease people... but i think they went a little too far and i know because i left forty-five minutes ago and my stomach STILL HURTS. I'm not sure how much poking and tickling they expect me to take, but if telling them to stop doesn't work then maybe i'll have to try something else. And if that doesn't work... then i'll have to walk away, OH NO and stop the tickle fest? How could i do such a thing... oh wait THIS IS MY STOMACH WE'RE TALKING HERE. It's sooo annoying. I'm issuing a warning, especially to ivan who has yet to learn the thin line between fun and obnoxious. lol and grassy you need to hear this too... just because something is fun once doesn't mean you can do it over and over again until i'm literally on the ground! At some point it ceases to be funny and starts being idiotic. Grow frikkin up and if you STILL have the prepubescent urge to tickle random people, they make stuffed toys for that. And it won't cost you a friendship.
besides all of this, i'm sick and not in my right mind! if there is ever a time to rely on my inherent patience and restraint, now is not it.

wretched winter

it's SO COLD. I swear i'm going to get frostbite. There were some suspicious red patches on my legs today.. i know, i know, if they're red they can't be that suspicious but STILL.
Guys, i'm developing a passion for love songs... ewwww I'm turning into one of THOSE girls. ...not that there's anything wrong with that ;). like right now.. ryan cabrera, true... wow. I think maybe it's all the pent-up frustration from not being to dl songs... coming out. i'm also downloading a lot of praise music... OH! must download adonai. Praise team was awesome today =) and yay for heidi! awesome solo! Who blackmailed her into it? ;)
non-uniform day next friday!! SO EXCITED! It doesn't even have a theme, so derek aaron alf stan curt and bri can all carry on... ignoring it =p. But please everyone make your donations.. $2 isn't much to get out of the uniform for a day, right?
I'm getting sick... grrr.And it makes me sneeze a lot, not to mention sniffle all the time... i despise winter. DESPISE it. Guys do you think if i eat tons of food for a couple of weeks, i can hibernate and live off my fat for awhile?
wow... the ravi zacharias lecture.. so good. lol he reminds me a lot of c.s lewis, which is what my dad said when i told him about it. I stole all his c.s lewis books when i realized he actually wrote stuff other than the Chronicles of Narnia.. and I haven't given them back.. have no plans to, actually... but he doesn't bear a grudge. He just asks me where a certain book is when he wants to read it. He uses the same humour in his examples, the same concise, logical arguements. And he uses big words =p the longest one i remember him using is incontrovertible... i loved it. i never get to hear people actually say big words like that, so i never know how they're pronounced.
i need to go find which talented person sings Adonai.. so... later =)

six weeks left

six weeks until march break! That's 30 school days... 720 hours at school... well anyways it's not too far away.
march 7th, guys!!
it wasn't too brutal today... we got some exams back... chem was terrible >< english was awesome =D but still.. chem was terrible... i don't know if i'm a bad student or if ms ng is just a terrible chem teacher. I'm inclined to blame her... because i'm not doing too bad in any of my other subjects, even math. Stupid sig figs are killing me!! Well anyways, with luck i'll pass this year.. i was planning to use grade 12 chem to help me get into my program, but if i remember correctly a data management credit works too.. let's hope i'm right cuz if not, then ms ng gets to subtract from the working force one awesome psychologist. Applause, please. That kind of power is hard to come by. Seriously guys, if people realized how incredibly important teachers are, maybe they would find some way to ensure we actually like, get good ones. Especially in the maths and sciences! I mean if your french teacher is evil, well there are other ways to learn french. Apparently the summer programs work really well .. but yeah. Mr Lee almost turned me off math.. and now ng is turning me off chem. It sucks. Why do these anal teachers get to influence our futures this way? When I was studying for the chem exam i was like... ok i want to ace this, because the best way i can think of to irritate her is denying her the satisfaction of using her red pen. I know i'm making her sound evil... well it was a very bad mark. And she really doesn't like me, so maybe it's justified. I don't know. ANYWAYS. I reckoned without ng's sigfigitis. WOW. How rational is it to slash off marks left and right because of one wrong DIGIT? Sounds like math at its most anal. Yes well... ms ng's parents poured double a university tuition into her schooling for years... only to have her come back as a teacher at the same school. I kind of like that. When she was a student she had potential.. now she teaches students with potential. Heh. I'm beginning to understand her analness a bit more. I wonder how many times she got kicked out of class for walking in a second after the bell? And now she can do it to me whenever she wants.
guys, chem is going to be my best subject at the end of the year, if it takes everything i've got.
hey i just realized something... you know all those geniuses who were horrible in school? Like einstein, and newton? Did anyone ever wonder if it was because they had ANAL TEACHERS? And if the reason they're so smart was because they were determined to become geniuses and rub it into their teacher's faces?
great minds think alike ;)

shopping is a wonderful thing

hey guys... i blew everything i have on shopping, so i'm poor until payday. Then I finish paying my parents for europe, and i get to keep my entire paycheck! lol but then i have to start saving for schoool. Woot. Anyways... yeah i went on one huge shopping spree the night before my history exam... i wanted to go to stc but fairview is closer and they were having a sale. You know those sales where it's like, 20% off (which is nothing) but it gives you an excuse to buy stuff? one of those =p and then yesterday i discovered the eaton's centre (SO COOL) which has lush, my favourite store EVER. They make handmade organic bath stuff =p lol it's so much cooler than it sounds... they're all against animal testing and stuff, too. I love that place. So good.
I feel guilty for blowing so much money =p but hey it's going to be the last time in a long time i can take enough time off from hwk to go shopping. Probably my last spree until like, march break.
back to school for me on monday =(

what shall i do today..

exams over!! wooot!! already making plans for tomorrow =p
i really want to get my ears pierced... but i also want mel and hiedi there when i do it =p besides i need to visit the y.. stupid body fat, why can't you leave me alone?? =p andd... i need to clean my room.
ok i know that sounds boring.. but hey it's a family thing. lol my sisters and i used to trade rooms all the time in the summer when we were bored.. we'd move all our stuff out, resettle, and live there for like six months or a year, depending on how much we liked it.. then switch with someone else. I've lived in every room in the house except for my parents' (they were never around during the day in summer, so they'd come home and have a new daughter in the room across from them.. we could never negotiate a trade, they have the master bedroom after all) and my brother. He lives in the basement, which is all finished and wtv but there are centipedes and spiders and (emily says) creepy sounds at night, so it wasn't very inviting for us. Besides i don't think he would have agreed. This place was kind of like his underground penthouse.
ANYWAYS. my point is when i get bored, i mess with my room. And it needs updating, it looks like a ten-year-old lives there. It's pink (that's actually really recent =p) which i love... it makes it really warm and inviting, cuz i have no overhead lighting so it's just lamps.. really nice.anyways. But the walls and shelves are lined with stuffed animals and random ceramic ...things.. i made when i was like 7. It's IMPOSSIBLE to dust.. so i just don't dust =p but then you don't wanna touch anything.. and iunno, i just want it to look like a 16-yr old lives there, not her little sister. So the stuffies gotta go... except the ones i'm attached to, like my giant pink fuzzy rabbit Mr Bunny who was almost as tall as me when my nana gave him to me.. I used him for a pillow when I was reading in bed cuz he was so soft =p and Sandy, the dog my aunt gave me.. and my stuffie puppets =p does anyone remember those? And some of those clay ...things... aren't too bad. lol but yeah most of it is annoyingly junky. I hate it. SO yes... having established my complete lack of a life, i have a sudden urge to go clean... maybe i'll visit ikea tomorrow. i love that place =p doesn't everyone? Sometimes i wish i could just live there and create my own room, like that movie where the girl lived in Walmart for a week. I could reinvent it like, every day. it's perfect!
it's settled guys. I'm moving into ikea =p

where's my banana?

i'm starting a wish list. top things pca needs to change:
1. kilts in wintertime. It's not modest. It's not sending a good image. it's not even humane. It's sending the image that your students are catholic ...girls... who are too stupid to wear pants. People who pass you in the street have no idea that there's a board of cotton-headed septagenarians who decreed that you MUST wear the kilt. They think you have options. and besides this is CANADA. It actually like, gets cold here sometimes. If you wouldn't let your cat out in this weather, don't do it to me!
2. anal spare rules. Relax! There are worse things in the world than a student who shows up seven minutes before the end and not five. Just like there are worse things than.. oh no! eating in spare! oh, the crumbs! the wrappers! lol maybe if you would let me leave spare to go eat, I wouldn't need to bring my food back. =p
3. Chapel. I think something's missing.. hmm what could it be.. oh! enthusiasm! guys it freaks me out how depressed the chapels make me.. i wish i could do something but there doesn't seem to be a way to get anything across.
4. impotent administration making anal rules left and right. It's so reactionary! holy crap! It's like they just wander around going "hey don't do that... please stop doing that.. OK THE NEXT PERSON WHO DOES THAT GETS A DETENTION". And they do that for EVERYTHING. It's inssane how many things you are specifically forbidden to do. The day they tell me I can't show up for spare except the first or last five minutes is the day i... wait. Crap.
They need to get at the root of the problem, whatever that is, and fix that. Trying to fix the problems this way is like trying to stop a leak by dropping one grain of sand into it at a time. And maybe the root of the problem is us... crazy, rebellious, mischeivous students. lol that's what you get for running a SCHOOl. Deal with it.Or at least talk to us... maybe we would be more reasonable with the random rule-breaking if they tried to address us like adults to be reasoned with and not monkeys to be caged.But they don't, do they? Just keep making more rules.
I hear they're ordering bars for the windows next =p

oy with the penance already

dani found my blog! i feel so honoured. lol and helen too... i think you two are like, one person with two bodies. Like identical twins who always know where the other one is. Hey do you guys have esp? wow that would be really cool
hey does anyone else know the song 'because i'm a girl' by kiss? it's some azn thing... might be korean, i really can't tell sometimes =p lol someone sent it to me with the music video and i watched it... and now i'm thinking about it for some reason. Don't know why. The song is ok... if you understand korean, which i don't so i read the translated lyrics, which are kind of lame in english but that's what you get when you translate stuff. lol but the music video is really sweet... are all azn music videos done that well? because if so then i'm kind of intimidated...
yeah. It's just like a love story... the girl is a (korean) hairdresser and the guy is a photographer/motorcycle racer/something else.. i know. All the sexy jobs. Anyways.. one day she's walking down the street and she accidentally walks into a picture he's taking of a family (it's like a gorgeous fall day.. i love the way azn films show seasons. Like with the apple blossom thing in spring? so pretty.) so she ..bows... and apologises and whatever (and the video shows her in slow motion so you know it's important!) and then she walks away, wtv. Then he walks into the salon where she works.. this is like a couple of days later.. and she recognizes him so she manages to be the one who cuts his hair, and she washes it and it's all very romantic... then she gets shampoo in his eye. Then the manager comes out and yells at her. lol i'm serious! anyways he realizes she was the one from the picture thing and he forgets his hat on the way out. so then she shows up at his studio to return the hat, and he recognizes her and he gets her to model for him, or something. I don't understand. Maybe the korean lyrics explain it. ANYWAYS they start going out... and there's this thing with a picture of them that's very significant, or something. Anyways, one day she's at his apartment helping him develop pictures, and she goes into his supply room to get a bottle of.. something.. but it's on the top shelf, so she has to reach.. and she accidentally knocks it off, and it falls and splashes into her eyes... so now she's in the hospital, blind... and then suddenly the guy shows up (he rode his motorcycle one last time) and they perform a transplant where they give her his eyes (can they do that?). He gave up his sight for her, and he didn't even tell her! After that for some reason they're not together anymore. And then.. one day he's sitting on a bench with his seeing-eye dog, holding the picture.. and she's walking, but she doesn't notice him...and they pass each other by =(. So sad. lol and for some reason that was on my mind.. not sure why. How many people do you know who would give up their sight for you? I can think of one who would die for me =p but that's a little different. And that person wouldn't ditch me after he made the sacrifice =p right guys?
i think i'm going to edit this. It's really bad.

just call me jacob two-two

does anyone else know who that is? Maybe it's just me. I spent my childhood behind a wall of books, as Sarah will tell you. lol and one of them was about a little boy named Jacob Two-Two. He's the youngest in his family, and when he talks no one hears him the first time. So he has to say everything twice. That's why he's called Jacob Two-Two. In the book, his habit of saying everything twice annoys everyone around him and he gets sent to this evil dungeon place where he drives the evil jailkeeper absolutely insane because he can't say anything only once. He has to say it twice. He even says numbers as expressions of 2. So when the jailkeeper, trying to get him to say something that has nothing to do with 2, asks him how many inches are in a foot - he says there are 2+2+2+2+2+2. He says it twice. And so on. Eventually he gets rescued and brought home by his oldest brother and sister, who really do love him even though they beat him up all the time. Awww.
ok most of that was irrelevant but y'know. I have a thing with books. The point is, no one hears me the first time ><. Ever. It's very sad. lol it really is.... i've given up saying hi to people in the halls because no one hears me. Even when i'm right there. In their face. Saying hi. Loudly.
I feel all like, invisible and stuff. It's very sad. I wonder if saying everything twice really worked for Jacob Two-Two, because if so then I should try it. I could be Victoria Two-Two, and i could annoy everyone around me. It sounds like fun, except for the getting-sent-to-the-evil-dungeon part. Then I could rescue a dinosaur. (Jacob Two-Two did that too.)
I'm trying to waste time in spare but it's not working. I have 20 minutes left and then boring, boring Bible (stop laughing, nate) and then bio, which is cool.. and then lunch, and then math which is VERY VERY BAD, and then boring sap and then chem which is also bad.
yay.

man do i have some bad karma

it just doesn't stop ><. I think I must have been unconsciously amassing bad karma for weeks now, and it's letting loose in this big, huge festival of suffering. Ok fine, it's not huge. Just painful. So yesterday I had these horrible cramps... i hate cramps. It makes me want to curl up in a little ball, except that i'm at school and that wouldn't be good. So that was yesterday... today the cramps have gone to torture someone else, and i'm stuck with this vicious cold and these random headaches. It sucks. I'm thinking about calling in sick tomorrow... to both work and school. I'm not sure if my throat is up to four hours of "hi, good evening, my name is...". And i'm not happy about school either. I had orchestra today, and all day i was looking forward to skipping it... my entire body aches. Nuff said. But i just had to go warn mr vernon that he'd be missing half his bass section, and he was all insulted that i stayed for the entire school day but NOT ORCHESTRA. So he said stuff that i don't remember because all i was hearing was "no, you can't go home and rest. You must stay here so that you can haul your massive instrument back up to the music room from whence it came." On the way back to my locker I remembered all the clever things I could have said, like "mr vernon, do you really want me fainting on the stairs and dropping my bass on the pour souls below me?" or "mr vernon, i have enough energy left for a) going home or b) coming to orchestra. Maybe you'd like to explain to my parents why I'm sleeping at school tonight?" but i said none of those... not ALL that clever things. I smiled. I'm so spineless. Ick.
Then i crawled my way home and put on my fuzzy shapeless sweats and sweater that hide all the bad things about my body.. they hide everything, actually... and now i need to do an assignment but i really don't want to.
I think i need more sugar, or something.
here's hoping for a snow day! =D

post ignite

hey guys... got back from Indiana last night. It's a nine-hour drive but we did it in 8 cuz we had CRAZY INSANE drivers who were doing 130 and stuff. Ignite is a winter youth conference deal... very cool. Also very tiring... lol but it was really powerful. I was praying a couple of days before i left... and suddenly God just kind of demanded Ignite from me. He told me it was his time, and he wanted me to give it to him. He was dead serious. lol and i knew exactly what he was talking about... so i did it. For the entire conference i had to keep defending myself from distractions... even my thoughts were against me. lol but the meetings were so powerful, and so good, that it was worth the struggle. and CLARA HAS BLOGGER!!! why didn't i know that? I feel bad now. Anyways.
40 days until march break. Well... 40 school days. 56 days all told. lol nate refuses to look on the bright side... but then he's right, he doesn't have much of one. I, on the other hand, have exams next week. Lucky, lucky me.
I really don't like winter. It lasts much too long. Like for awhile you have Christmas and New Year's to look forward to, and coldness is festive... but then the holidays are over and you're back at school and it's STILL COLD.
I want a new job. It's not a very smart thing to type since i'm at work, but still. I could handle less pay. I have too much money as it is. But I think i'd like a job where i deal with people more. People who aren't annoyed with me for waking them up at 9 in the morning on a saturday.