after dinner =D

lol hey guys.. everyone just left from the dinner thing... just wanted to let everyone know i loved it =D and i think we should do it again. Like, during exams when we need to relax... or during the break when we need something to fill the day.. or anytime, really. lol and mel!!! i love the tote!! it is the best tote ever! heidi i wear your ring all the time =p it's so purtiful =D i think i'm going to take it shopping tomorrow =p lalala well i'm just realli happy.. and a bit tired ^o) and also confused about what's going on tomorrow.. are we still bowling? i don't get it >< but hey that's what phones are for .. SOOO i'm going to go shower now.. then read.. then sleep.. then wake up and try to sort out what's happening =D so later
time to hibernate ;)

ahhhhhhhh

winter break is cool =D school should die. I'm serious. I don't understand why I have to choose between good marks and SLEEP. Cuz good marks are losing ;) lala nate is back from the island of nameless lighthouses, which means lots of assorted good things...wow i forgot to ask how jesse and faith are doing... meh. I'll ask later.
wow i'm so excited for tomorrow night.. karen and kattey and clara!! i can't believe you guys aren't coming =( we'll TRY to have fun without you but i'm not sure how well it will work =p and now i have to email everyone to tell them the time is changed... >< i was never cut out for this uber-webbie stuff.
Time to hibernate =D
later

indolence is a virtue

lol WOW i've spent the entire day doing absolutely nothing productive.. not even practising the piano. I watched two movies and a lot of tv... did some reading... i did a lot of journaling yesterday night, because my sister was watching a dvd in the tv room, which is right under my room. I get this like, supersonic hearing at night... one time my mom was flipping through some papers in her room.
It was keeping me awake. Another time my sister was talking on the phone in the basement.. that's two floors and three closed doors away from my room. I couldn't sleep because of it. It sucks because i always feel so bad when i have to tell my family to turn it down.. so i didn't feel like telling my sister NO YOU CANNOT WATCH A DVD CUZ IT'LL KEEP ME AWAKE sooooooo i stayed up journaling till like, 1 in the morning. *that's late for me*. It's really weird.. the vibrations or sound waves or whatever come through the floor as this low murmuring sound.. and it's incredibly, incredibly irritating. Like nails on a chalkboard ALL THE TIME. So I had to plug my earphones into my stereo (i'm in between discmans right now, seriously i go through them so fast) and listen to some jack johnson to block out the low murmuring sound. lol and journal... crap i can't even remember what i wrote. lol i'll have to dig my sketchbook out of my super-secret hiding place and read it over.
WOW i love christmas break =D of course it's not completely relaxed this time.. i've still got work >< but i kept to my normal schedule, which means i have basically all day to myself. and i have two random get-together things going on in two days.. that should be interesting(=stressful) but hey, it's christmas break. Which means if i get really upset, i'll just hibernate. Or something.
how do animals do that? It's not fair! man if i could just sleep for like, two months... that would be awesome. Gaining all that weight beforehand... not so much fun. Waking up to find i burned it all off in my sleep.. lots of fun =D

incompetence

lol i have a new skin because.. um... i tried putting in a different one and it CRASHED AND BURNED.. so this is one of the blogger templates (BORing) but i kind of like it, actually, so i'm going to surf around a little and see if i can find anything i like better... but i can live with this for now.
My mommy is a house Nazi. =( lol it's really funny... my sister got married, right? So my mom is having this 'open house' thing for families in the church who know her... because she had such a small wedding that NO ONE got invited. Other than family. So this is kind of a hey-nice-husband-where-are-the-wedding-pictures deal.
So my mom has transformed herself into a whirlwind of frenzied activity and anyone who gets in her way is either "forcibly recruited" or told to get dressed. So to avoid both these fates, i'm hiding out in my basement blogging =p
I took a break to hang out with the people at my house.. break over now, back to blogging. Yep, winter has definitely set in.. stupid cold depressing winter nights.

gung-ho

wow three blogs in one day. Yes, i have no life. lol kay heidi here's my one happy poen =p i'll write another one sometime when i'm happy.

dawn

watched the sun set on my pain as you left
I thought I was trapped in the dark
I said goodbye to the light and settled down
to write poetry and feel sorry for myself
and all through the dusk and evening
I sat with my tears
I was still there when I looked up
and dawn leaped into the sky
I looked at it blankly, didn't quite get it
but then, then it started to get warm
and I smiled in spite of myself as I
stopped shivering and crying
and the sun and me laughed at all my unhappiness
and then I got up and left behind all my tears
and we danced in the light, in the warmth of your love
and as I laughed and laughed, I felt something new and joyful

I'm a maverick

... i don't actually know what that means but it's really fun to say. Like montebank. lol i found myself a new skin. This makes me a genius =D SO let's do some blogging. Let's see... i'm pretty happy right now. I have to work tomorrow... that's kind of a damper but not really because i get next saturday off!! and what am i going to do with my newfound freedom?
Sleeeeeep. =)

I have nothing to do tonight, it's so weird. Usually there's always this vague pressure to be doing homework, practising piano, or sleeping... but i'm doing absolutely NOTHING constructive and i love it. I wish I was still in grade 6. that's the last time I remember when life was simple for me. I don't remember having any feelings for boys. none. I thought they were just bigger, stupider versions of me, and i had no use for them. Times have changed since then... but they've kind of come full circle. Back then I had no use for boys because i had no idea what they were like... now i've seen what they're like and what they can do and what they can offer me.. and i (temporarily) have no use for them. i love it!! Think about it. When you're single and you don't like anyone, you have so much more time on your hands. There's no pressure to be on msn, or go to this party or that movie, or to actually look good for school. You don't have to spend money on anyone else. Best of all, you can be completely yourself.. as random or weird or pissy as you want, and if people don't like it you don't have to care.
i have to take a random second to thank mel and heidi... lol you guys are awesome, i love this friendship thing we have going... i'm not all that sure what i would do without you.
friends are important.
anyways.
I think winter depresses me. seriously, every winter i get all withdrawn and solitary and books become my best friends again. Do you guys know why i read so much? It's because when i read i forget about all of my problems. I get to take a little vacation outside of my screw-up of a life and into a place where there's always a happy ending. And stuff isn't so complicated.
Besides, winter is never a fun time. The weather turns my nose red (eww) and it's COLD and i have to like, shiver. It sucks. And winter brings back memories. It's weird because I was so happy, and then so incredibly depressed, in the same winter. So when the cold weather starts, around November, that's when i remember the happy times. And around now, when it's all cold and stormy and dark... now i remember the sad times.
But i have discovered cheescake. All is right with the world - but it will be even better when i master dessert crepes. Then on to puff pastry!
later =)

day 1

hey there... everyone... wow posting stuff on the internet is trippy. So many people can read it!! eep.. i have stage fright. I'm such a loser. ANYWAYS... lol ty to curt, who inspired me to vent my personal feelings to anyone with access to the URL.. it sounded like a good idea at the time. I have to be nice to him because i'm going to be bothering him for tips until i get the hang of this blogging deal... actually i just bother him all the time. I'm sorry, but not sorry enough to stop =D SOOOOOO i have nothing to do for two weeks =D well that's not technically true... i still have to work... and i'm having this dinner thing at my house which is going to be really, really fun ... other than that yeah, nothing. That means sleeping =D so i'm going to end this post thing now so i can see what you do after you post stuff... yeah. later.