must not be defeated

I have to force the situation to turn me to God. I'm not going to fall back on the excuse that since I wasn't given the chance to do it for God, I can't grow. I'm tired of blaming other people. It doesn't matter whose fault it is. It doesn't matter what's holding me back.
I'm desperate to grow.
And I'm not willing to let anything stop me.
On another note - here's my villanelle =)
-------------------------------------------------------
Truth

Truth shines like torchlight on their faces
they cringe from the breaking of their pride
they fall, meteoric, from high places.

Perhaps cruelty or fear replaces
their strength – they laugh at those who cried
Truth shines like torchlight on their faces.

Important questions leave no traces
they turn rhetoric on us, not allied
they fall, meteoric, from high places.

Their minds forget, his lie erases
Reality for those who still can hide
We watch in fear, our one heart races

They wander, disowned, through smoky hazes
Delicately lost like truth denied
Or dash madly through bright, dark phases

But we cannot leave them to anesthetized dazes
We must join the ranks of those who tried
Truth shines like torchlight on their faces
they fall, meteoric, from high places