an interesting turn of the tide

I expected the aloofness and distance to continue forever... for the whole of this ordeal. But it occurs to me that that might not be the plan. In fact from what I hear, it's NOT the plan. Which is, in a way, harder for me to take. When you turn into Iceberg Man, I know where I stand. As far as possible from you. It's very simple. My only response to seeing you is to get away. This thawing on your part complicates things. I have to take your lead on this.. and that irks me =p i'm tired of taking your lead. But this isn't the time or the place to make a stand. I thought I wanted to break away from the role of following what you want, devoting all of my much-praised quick thinking and sensitivity to doing precisely what you need me to do. I thought I wanted to make you suffer, watch you squirm. But I couldn't ignore the fact that you HAVE suffered and squirmed, and to put you through more is just cruel. So I'm back to adapting to the situation, to the subtle spins you place on it. And it's harder now... you seem to want friendship, which is good, losing that would kill. So it's a question of making sure that we have only as much friendship as we can handle without taking it too far. Wherever that point is, in your mind. But then I have to reconcile my own doubts and questions. I don't want a friendship that's more of a duty - I don't want your friendship in order to benefit the group, or to prevent hurting unity. I want you to want my friendship for its own sake. for my sake.