veritas

i'm afraid it will hurt you to see this, but you once told me not to hide.

i miss you
it breaks my heart
watching you
i used to be able to
glance and look away
secure in our connection
now i can't see enough
i wish i could stand and
watch you
admiring all the things i never noticed
all the things i love about you
it kills me that i have to go
it kills me that it will kill you
but there's no other way for me
soon it'll be over
and we will be strangers
i will look at you and see
none of your strength, your calm,
your integrity.
I will see a boy, like anyone else,
all of the inner discoveries hidden from me,
the curtain swept back into place,
nothing special.
Maybe you hold nothing for me, only
the promise of more pain
and the memories of a stunning friendship
that vanished overnight,
(or did it just go underground?)
vanished like
some sick magic trick
but it's real
oh, it's real
i can tell from the cries of protest
in my heart
slowly, gently,
breaking