herself

so in my quest to get back into writing, i'm starting small.. with little... thingies. I do not know what to call them. They're thingies. I have no clue what i'm doing.. but while I wait for a good concept, I shall exercise on these.
She doesn't think they see her. How can they be scrutinizing her so closely, and still not see? She hates that feeling, and she gets it all the time. Sometimes when she's walking down the street, she'll hear a car honk and sometimes, if she's lucky, some guy will put his head out the window and yell something unintelligible. She used to want that to happen. She used to think it was confirmation that someone thought she was worth something, that someone liked the way she looked. But now it makes her angry, because she's made the fatal mistake of learning what she's worth.
She used to take her cues from everything around her, and she was good at it. She could tell what her friends were thinking, her teachers, the people she wanted to impress and the people she wanted to approve of her. She was so good at adapting to what someone else wanted.
But gradually she realized that she was only really comfortable when she wasn't taking hints from anyone else, when she ignored everything and became herself. And now when someone comments on her body, it just makes her realize that they think they see her. They think everything they need to know about her is on the outside, and for that brief second as she walks by, they own her. And that gives them the right to say whatever they want. They think they have the right to judge her, and it doesn't matter if they like what they see, they're missing everything important. And they don't care. To them, she's only worth what she looks like.
She has to shake off that feeling when she gets it. For that second, she feels as cheap as they treat her, and for that second she turns back into the person who takes her cues from other people and lets them tell her what she's worth.
And she turns away and takes a deep breath, she lets her brisk steps take her back to herself.