i don't GET IT

God, what the heck? What is going on with you? Why do you keep doing this to me?
You took Candy, you took lilian, and now you want irene? why do you keep taking my friends as fast as i make them? Is that what you want? for me to be alone?
I just don't understand. i thought you wanted the best for me but how can this be the best? why do i always have to be alone? Why do you keep giving me these people and then snatching them away? explain yourself! I accepted it once.. even twice... but this is just too much. I don't know what you expect from me. I thought I knew you. I think there's still faith and love in here somewhere, but i don't know where and I'm too angry to look. I just can't do this anymore. I can't keep reaching out to people and losing them to YOU when you move them where you see fit. So this time when you do your whole mysterious-will-of-God thing, i won't be ready to try again. I won't be picking up any pieces. Don't you understand how much I needed each and every one of them?
I know you understand.
I'm sure this will all work out for the best but don't you see how much this hurts?Why do you keep doing this to me? Well i'm not nearly angry enough, or crazy enough, to leave you because of this... although I don't know when i'll be able to continue. But I just can't keep reaching out. Not after all of this. No more bonds, God, I can't handle it when you break them.
toria