#87

we had an evanescent glow towards the end,
a sense of things fading, coming to an end,
even though i firmly believed
they would not.
I never would have thought it would come to this,
i would have laughed at the person
who dared tell me
that for a year i would learn about your smile,
and your eyes,
and your footsteps
that i would settle into this friendship
and that i would think i was safe
only to be abruptly jolted from
my place,
erased
like a mistake
and that i would hurtle through
a universe of bitterness and memory
arriving breathless here
so well acquainted with
the back of your head
the heels of your shoes.
i have mastered the art of the bittersweet smile
i have burrowed into your head and run away,
having discovered that your perspective was
sadder than mine.
I have been triumphant, deposed but not defeated,
secure still in your heart
and i have been a forgotten little girl, pathetic,
curled in a corner watching your world fly past
as mine comes to a whispering, whimpering halt.
I have climbed into the problem and lived inside of it,
i have risen above and soared, disinterested,
pitying your terrestrial plodding.
we had an evanescent glow towards the end,
did you feel it too?