update

well rez is an interesting experience so far. I mean on one hand, you make friends with whole groups of people... and sometimes it's a great feeling to just kick back with a roomful of friends and laugh and talk and snack. But eventually we'll all have to go back to our rooms.. and you're always alone at night. That part is hard. For some reason I never felt alone at night before. I mean at home it's the same deal, at night you go to bed and you're alone in your room. But it's different. I don't know how other people cope, but I fend off loneliness with books and mugs of tea and endless tidying. We all have a craving for homemade food. Chocolate chip cookies from home could practically be currency, and we all really do miss our mom's spaggetti. Except me, because not being italian our pasta was never anything to boast of. But I do miss her cookies, and her pasta salad, and her endless food-experiments that were mostly successful. I miss my own cookies too, for that matter. I was awesome at baking. BUT NOW I DON'T HAVE A KITCHEN. Bah. I'm going home one weekend and bringing back all manner of baked goods. I like weekends better than any other time. It's quieter, more tranquil. All the transients go home and Glendon is left to us. It really is a beautiful campus, and I love walking around on it.. these days especially, the weather is beautiful.
I'm settling in at the caf, learning what is good and what's not. They have a mini pizza pizza, the type with a few pizzas rotating slowly under a heat lamp, but I'm never tempted unless they have vegetarian. The Grill reinvented itself - we must now refer to it as "Coyote John's" or some such crap, and I am miffed. If they had gotten rid of the sunrise sandwich I'd have thrown a tantrum right then and there. It's all about getting to know the staff, so you can wheedle more food out of them. I got an extra perogie today. I'm sure they know why we're so nice to them, all crafty with our big smiles and our interested questions, but they're cafeteria staff. Who else are they going to talk to? The Bistro is better food, but it's also more expensive - and although we were all extravagantly flippant about our meal cards at first, we've outgrown that It's-Daddy's-Money phase and are now counting costs. Also, the Bistro is situated down a brutal flight of stone steps that you're going to have to hike back up after your meal. Incidentally it's also in the gym, which I find ironic considering how much cheese and salt is in that food.
We're all affection-starved. I think everyone misses the friendships we had in high school - I know I do - but I don't think anyone has any idea how to make it happen again, so we hang on and hope for the best. We speak of going home, always because our parents want us - we say it rolling our eyes but we go, every single time, and everyone understands. We go because it's home and everyone has to go home sometimes. Cheap laundry and home-cooked meals are the excuses we make, but I think the truth is much less cool.
The girls with boyfriends are holding on, and I hope they make it, but I'm glad it's not me.
As an aside, it comes as no surprise to me that there's so much drinking, partying and sex among university frosh. Everyone comes to university to metamorphose; name me three faster ways to become the person you think you want to be.
I hear ghost knocks outside my door all the time. I don't think it's really ghosts, but I'm not sure what it is yet because I'm always inside with my door closed. The first couple of times I went to the door and answered it, and of course the hall was empty. Sometimes I wonder if it's just because I wish someone would knock. lol bah I sound so lonely. I shouldn't - everyone who walks by smiles and says hi, and more often than not invites me out somewhere. But we've all learned to respect everyone's alone time, as well. No, it's not that I'm really lonely. I don't know what it is.
Anyways. I was seriously bummed when school had the audacity to start, but book-shopping was exciting even if the classes weren't. Here's hoping I get up on time tomorrow.

toria