totally hurt

hey guys... blogging in the middle of the missions dinner, need to vent and pull myself together. The lab is full of people but none of them are looking at me, so it works out. If I break down, maybe they won't notice.
I've been killing myself working on this ppt. I know Mel has, too, and I love her for doing it.. but over the past 24 hours i have done almost nothing but work on this stupid powerpoint, especially the itinerary, the mission impossible theme. I know it's out there =p but I loved the idea, i even thought i could pull it off.
ms. pater and mrs. augustyn never intended to show the presentation the way I had it. They knew they were going to change whatever it took to make it something they liked. But they deliberately didn't tell me this. I handed them everything i had worked for, like MAD, everything i had given up classes and work for, and they watched it and said 'thanks toria', kicked me out of the room and proceeded to edit. They took out my text and put the excruciatingly boring plain itinerary back in. So now the text has nothing to do with anything spy-related, which makes the backgrounds and the music completely ridiculous. If I hadn't walked in on Mrs. Augustyn in the middle of editing it, i don't know when they would have told me. If ever.
So now the timing for the slides is screwed, which means the music timing is screwed. Everything I did is completely worthless, but they have exactly what they want. I understand their reasons for changing the text, but not their reasons for not telling me. It's underhanded and incredibly inconsiderate, considering the amount of time i put into their precious powerpoint - only to have them butcher it.
I just couldn't handle it. I started crying in the middle of the auditorium, and had to run out into the church washroom. I came back in time for the rest of the mtg, then went to the school washroom =p three times i left that washroom, thinking i was done crying. Three times i had to run back.
I don't even know if it was a good idea or not, i've gone back and forth over it too many times. I think the finished product, the one i handed to ms pater and mrs augustyn (wondering why they insisted on keeping the memory stick - guess we know now) truly was good. I think it said everything that needed to be said, and portrayed it in one of the fews ways possible to downplay the 'europe trip' part of it. I like the concept. I must have gone over each slide like a billion times, perfecting the timing to get it right, not too long or too short, timing everything with the songs perfectly... and now, if any of it stays at all, it'll be completely ridiculous.
I'm too tired, too stressed, and way too close to tears to care anymore. All I want to know is whether they're going to change the rest of it or not. If so, I'll take my name off it. The presentation i worked so hard on is worthless, and the one up on the projector is one i had absolutely nothing to do with. Mel can have the credit. She deserves it, dealing with me and my crazy ideas. Besides her work on the presentation is worth so much more than the stuff they trashed.
I'm losing heart in this trip. When even the teachers are on tenterhooks lest someone take a negative view of the trip, you know they're feeling pretty insecure. And when the teachers themselves aren't even resolved in this, how can i be? Especially, how can i have faith in teachers who treat me like crap?